Before You Split: Find What You Really Want for the Future of Your Marriage (Paperback)
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A former divorce attorney lays out the hidden benefits of staying together, whether you’re frustrated with your marriage, on the brink of giving up completely, or simply want to strengthen your relationship to withstand the inevitable hard times.
“Toni Nieuwhof is the guide you’ve been waiting for. Deeply wise, genuinely empathetic, and uncommonly insightful, Toni is a fresh voice with tried and true experience that offers a proven roadmap.”—Ann Voskamp, New York Times bestselling author of The Broken Way and One Thousand Gifts
If you’ve ever wanted to say, “I can’t do this anymore!” out of frustration with your marriage, you’re definitely not alone.
In this practical and insightful guide, former divorce attorney Toni Nieuwhof shows that even if you feel disconnected or stuck in your troubled marriage—and worry about its impact on your kids—there is a way forward.
Before You Split helps you find what you really want from your marriage and how to move forward to a better future by:
• seeing yourself and your spouse more clearly
• dealing with unrealistic expectations
• empowering you with constructive ways to respond to difficult emotions
• engaging the power of forgiveness
• increasing your peacemaking skills
• advancing your journey of personal growth
Even if it feels like it’s over, it’s not too late. Change takes place one step at a time. Before You Split will help you make choices with your eyes wide open.
About the Author
Toni Nieuwhof is a family law mediator and former divorce attorney. She is the wife of Carey Nieuwhof, who is an influential leadership author, podcast host, and international speaker. Toni and Carey often speak publicly about their marriage of more than three decades. In her downtime, Toni enjoys outdoor sports and spending time with Carey, their two grown sons, and their extended family and friends.
“Divorce is a serious decision with lifelong consequences. Toni has given people an excellent way to hit the pause button and really consider what is best. Thank you, Toni, for this contribution to such a difficult process.”—Dr. Henry Cloud, clinical psychologist and author
“Toni Nieuwhof’s Before You Split offers practical guidance and time-tested advice to make it through the messy middle while building the marriage you’ve always wanted. If you’ve ever thought, I wonder what it would take to make my marriage awesome, then read this book.”—Jon Acuff, New York Times bestselling author of Finish
“If you’re stuck in your marriage or know someone who is, Before You Split is the practical help you’re looking for. Toni Nieuwhof is not only someone we trust personally, but she’s also a voice that needs to be heard when more couples than ever find themselves struggling in ways they never expected.”—Mark Batterson, New York Times bestselling author and lead pastor of National Community Church
“Before You Split is a unique and wonderful gift to marriage. Toni’s clear-eyed experience as a divorce attorney, her vulnerability about her own marriage, her familiarity with marital research, her spiritual sensitivity, and her wonderful writing voice make this unlike any book on the subject we know.”—John and Nancy Ortberg, authors and speakers
“From the perspective of a psychologist who helps many couples navigate marriage restoration, I urge you to read this book to help you make the best decision you can for the future of your relationship—one not rooted in emotion alone but in wisdom.”—Charity Byers, PhD, executive director of Blessing Ranch Ministries
“This book is filled with real-life tensions that every married person has had to live with and genuine solutions that Toni has found through her vast experience and personal struggle. It’s authentic, practical, applicable, and useful for every couple who wants to live their best life together.”—Danielle Strickland, international speaker, advocate, and author of Better Together
“Deeply wise, genuinely empathetic, and uncommonly insightful, Toni is a fresh voice with tried and true experience that offers a proven roadmap. Before you even think about splitting—split this book open and find the hope you’ve been looking for.”—Ann Voskamp, New York Times bestselling author of The Broken Way and One Thousand Gifts
“Toni Nieuwhof is a quiet storm—a brilliant mix of intellect, compassion, and revolution. Her book is sure to revolutionize your marriage.”—Sam Collier, international speaker and author of A Greater Story
“As a pastor, I have already recommended this amazing and helpful book, full of practical tips and relatable stories, to many couples and have assigned it as mandatory reading for those I am counseling.”—Mark Clark, senior pastor of Village Church, and author of The Problem of God and The Problem of Jesus